I will not wallow in the shallow ends of love...instead I will brave the depths and dangers of loving people fully and unbridled, all the while, trusting that God will show me when to go deeper and when to let go. Can’t I at least trust Him for this? Can’t I trust the one who created love and relationships to begin with? The answer is yes and it’s not an answer that I want to give up for the rest of the world to hear. Apparently, somewhere in my independent living I thought I could love the way that I wanted to love.
Well, news flash. The way I love is mostly selfish, bitter, deceitful and often times empty. I never intended for it to be this way, but who does? I have learned that the love that we show is often a reflection of the love we received throughout our childhood. God intended for us to receive a wonderful and pure love that would provided us with a safe experimental ground to love others.....yep, this was another boat I missed while growing up an orphan. However, all is not lost because I serve a redemptive God. There may be illegitimate parents, but there has never been an illegitimate God.
The bottom line is that I AM LOVED and it gets expressed through so many ways.
Today I was at work (where I get to teach tiny humans AKA preschoolers). I got an important email notification from the leader of the team I'm going to South Africa alongside. Now, here is the preface to tme reading this email from my phone. I had just got through dealing with a rather challenging situation and had decided to go outside for a quick breather. It was during this brief outing that I felt a palpable since of being loved. This doesn't happen often people. I have a few close friends that I don't get to see nearly often enough and as you already know I don't have a family. Human love is at a premium in my world. So, in comes this email informing me of some donations that came into my fundraising account. Well, lo and behold I have reached my $3,500 goal needed to go to South Africa. As if just getting the feeling of being loved wasn't enough....He had to go and do that too. So there I was, walking around the playground near my classroom, crying joyful tears....swimming around in the deep ends of His love and to you I say...the water is perfect....come join me.
If you want to go deeper ponder these words Paul wrote....man I love this dude:
1. Let this wash over you Your Love is Extravagant
Colossians 2:2-6 (The Message)
2 I want you woven into a tapestry of love, in touch with everything there is to know of God. Then you will have minds confident and at rest, focused on Christ, God's great mystery. 3 All the richest treasures of wisdom and knowledge are embedded in that mystery and nowhere else. And we've been shown the mystery! 4 I'm telling you this because I don't want anyone leading you off on some wild-goose chase, after other so-called mysteries, or "the Secret." 5 I'm a long way off, true, and you may never lay eyes on me, but believe me, I'm on your side, right beside you. I am delighted to hear of the careful and orderly ways you conduct your affairs, and impressed with the solid substance of your faith in Christ. 6 My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you've been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live him. 7 You're deeply rooted in him. You're well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you've been taught. School's out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving.
