Delight in someone...give them your true smile.

Smiles are funny things....mostly a transparent indication of how someone is feeling. My observation has been that if someone is legitimately happy to see you, their smile radiates from the core of who they are. There becomes an effortless joy that spills out from their eyes. They embrace you before you ever even physically hug. Isn't that just the best feeling in the world.

Very seldom do I see adults express this type of emotion. However, when I see the faces of the children I know and care for, not only do I emit this joyful smile, they often beat me to the punch with their own heart piercing smile. I don't know about you, but it's so great to receive that kind of welcome. As I reflect on this, I think about my countdown to South Africa.

I'm excited. I'm scared. I'm anxious. I'm stressed. As I try to gear up my heart and mind for the experience of facing dying children and adults living in poverty I wonder when is the last time they've seen a comforting, "I'm sooooo happy to see you that I can feel the joy in bones" smile. I want the smile I give to be that smile that says, "You're welcomed here and I love you because of the way Christ loves me", but I afraid that I might show all the fear and anxiety instead. Like so many other things, I can only pray and prepare my heart with the things I know to be true as of this moment. I cling to these verse and promises when I find myself needed a fresh and tru way to really smile at other people;

2Cor 10:3,4,5 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh. (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and

bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

2Cor 12:9,10 My grace is sufficient for you: for My strength is made perfect in weakness...… for when I am weak, then am I strong.

Eph 3:16 That He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man.

Eph 6:10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might.

Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Col 1:11 Strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, unto all patience and

long-suffering with joyfulness.

2Tim 2:1 You, therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.

2Tim 4:17 Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me.

Heb 11:33,34 Who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight.

1Pet 5:10 But the God of all grace, who has called us unto His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that you have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.

1Jn 2:14b I have written to you, young men, because you are strong, and the Word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the wicked one.

Rev 12:10 And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.

So, your load is heavy? This makes more sense....

“I hear religious minded people say all the time with good intentions. ‘God will never place a burden on you so heavy that you cannot possibly carry it.’
Really?
My experience is that God will place a burden on you so heavy that you cannot possibly carry it alone. He will break your back and your will. He will buckle your legs until you fall flat beneath the crushing weight of your load. All the while He will walk beside you waiting for you to come to the point where you must depend on Him.
‘My power is made perfect in your weakness,’ He says, as we strain under our burden.
Whatever the burden, it might indeed get worse, but know this-God is faithful. And while we change and get old, He does not. When we get weaker, He remains strong. And in our weakness and humility, He offers us true, lasting, transforming, and undeserved grace.”

-Greg Lucas

It's the most wonderful time of the year....almost

Well, the holidays are quickly approaching. For many people this means the gathering of loved ones, great food to eat and new memories to be made. For me it means....well, it means something that I can't even describe.

It's a mix of emotions and moods that last for varying amounts of times until about mid January. No matter what invitations I get, none feel right and no matter what option I choose, the roads lead to the same place. Perhaps I can best describe these feeling as a mix between watching someone you really love be seriously ill and being the last kid picked to play kickball. You really want to fix something that can't be

fixed and you want to be more importantly needed than a parking meter that has to be fed to avoid a ticket.

You want to know that something can't be unless you are the thing that makes it work. You want to know that there is an empty space at someone's table, couch or campsite because you are the person that usually occupies that place.

No matter how old you are, where you come from or how you got from there to here, you just want to know that you matter. Instead of letting this get me down, I look for ways to make sure I let other people know that they do matter. That they are missed and that my life can't be unless their life is a part of this world. I think this is how true inclusive love should be.

Because I'm fandom

Yes, fandom.....freaking + random = fandom. I don't know how I became the fandom person I am, but clearly it is my new normal. Today I had a million plans and canceled them all to do nothing. Not because I'm tired, overwhelmed or even disinterested. I have more energy than I know what to do with, most of my schedule is underwhelming, and I can even find something interesting about the inside of a brown paper bag. The only explanation I give to my schedule clearing, thumb flying texting this day is I'm fandom. So, please pardon me while I enjoy the rest of my fabulously fandom day.

Now or Never

There is no turning back, what I set in motion is about to explode and change my life forever. I can tell this is the start of something different and amazing. I just have to keep looking forward. The naysayers and negative grandstands have to fade from my mind. My success and ability to thrive is depending on it. It is most definitely now or never and I choose now!